The question has plagued mankind since the beginning of time. At least that's what THEY want you to believe. Archetypes. The characters do 'em, so why shouldn't you? Take the Hurricane Party quiz and find out where you fit in the grand scheme of things!

All your life, your greatest ambition has been:

To follow my destiny and hopefully, hopefully, wind up happy.
To someday hold a mirror up to society and make it realize how silly it is, probably through some artistic means.
To rule the world by whatever means necessary.
To confuse people. To find a bag of money.

What would you rather do:

Create something
Play video games.
See how long I can do something annoying before someone yells at me. Laugh at others.
Immerse myself in a rich fantasy world.

What are you wearing, baby?

Something comfortable yet stylish.
A thrown-together ensemble that happens to be hip and functional.
Um...*blinks*....clothes?
Yo momma.
A huge piece of sleep in my eye.

Where are we eating tonight?

McDonald's, baby. Or Chic-Fil-A. Or maybe Fazoli's. Sonic? Burger King. As long as my food is served on a tray.
A nice restaurant.
Crack.
We?? Oh no, my friend, I am eating pizza. You're waiting in the car. Unless you have money.
Nachos. Taco Bell. Followed by Donuts.

What is your relationship status?

Complicated.
Pimpin'.
I frighten people.
Unrequited.
Nonexistent.

Your friends are at the bar and invite you over. what do you order to drink?

Water. Or a soft drink.
A nice sophisticated cocktail. Or maybe a bottle of imported beer.
A fun mixed drink, like a strawberry daiquiri or a Fuzzy Naval
Straight liquor.
I have friends?!!

Of the following, your hero would be:

Stan Lee
Steve Jobs
Hunter S. Thompson
Beavis
Turd Ferguson

Someone just insulted you. What do you do?

Kick his ass. Duh.
I have better things to do than worry about that. Plus, I'm a pacifist.
Laugh at him and point out that he has toilet paper on his shoe.
Smile stupidly and say something totally unrelated to the situation until he gets creeped out and walks away slowly.
Cry and obssess over it, probably. Or hack into his system and crash his HD.

Sex. How do you initiate it?

By saying "Come here, bitch, I wanna work you like a part time job!"
Usually just standing there seems to work...all these damn people up in my drawers...
I'm lucky if I can initiate someone not to kick my teeth in, much less have sex with me.
In other news, my bike is pretty cool. I wonder what my bike is doing right now.
Um, sorry but I'm a virgin. Who, me, jealous? Fuck y'all.

hurricane party the comic -- copyright 2002 by veronica j. hoffman everything i never knew i always wanted provided by icykia leg humping provided by random questions music and sense of cynical wonderment provided by tom Hurricane Party is hosted on Keenspace, a free webhosting and site automation service for webcomics.